Aftermath
by Mira Spiegel
Summary: Kind of a song fic, but not your typical one, as the song is kind of woven into the story. Sirus Black's thoughts in Azkaban. Following chapters contain other characters thoughts after the Potter's death.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own the character...though I really wouldn't mind it...especially Remus Lupin or Sirius...hmm...*cough* anyway, I hope you all enjoy this! I have ideas for other short stories concerning the characters thoughts on what happened after the Potter's deaths, but school prohibits me from writing any more at the present time. Anyway, enjoy this one!  
Sirius Black: Tears in Heaven  
  
He paced the cell back and forth till his legs gave out from fatigue. The darkness was oppressive, but whenever the shuffling footsteps of the Dementors passed by his cell, the darkness became suffocating.  
  
Azkaban. Who would have thought he would end up here? He was a trickster, prankster and all around "bad kid," but never did he deserve Azkaban. He never had stepped out of line that far to deserve this prison. He slid down the damp stone wall and bowed his head, grabbing fist fulls of his short black hair.  
  
"I didn't do it..I didn't do it.." he muttered over and over to himself, as if by repeating his innocence it would make it so. A dementor stopped by his cell door and he lifted up his head.  
  
"I DIDN'T DO IT!" he screamed. The thing shuffled away and the man known as Sirius Black went back to his hair pulling. Why? Why had Peter done this? Why had he betrayed them all, especially the Potters? Remus and Sirius didn't have any children, but Lily and James did: Harry.  
  
Tears pricked the back of his eyes. Harry Potter, his godson. He was suppose to be out there, protecting the child instead of those horrible muggle relatives of Lily's. Why did Peter betray them? When did the Maurauders give him the reason to betray them? And why hadn't he seen it coming?  
  
Sirius supposed that since he was the one that convinced the Potters to change secret-keepers, he was just as guilty as Peter for betraying them. Maybe he deserved to be in prison. No, he couldn't think that. If he convinced himself of his guilt he would die in prison insane and that would only convince the world of his crime. He had to fill his mind with something else, but what?  
  
He always enjoyed music. Yes, that's what he would do. Music made people happy. If he sang, the Dementors could sap the happiness he got from the music instead of his own happiness of life. But what to sing? Letting go of his hair, he sat back in the cell and gazed off into the darkness. A song came to mind and he started singing without thinking much.  
  
Would you know my name, If I saw you in heaven? Would it be the same, If I saw in heaven? I must be strong And carry on, For I know I don't belong Here in heaven.  
  
It was a muggle song he had played on his guitar many many times. Some dusty memory in the back of his mind made him think it was Lily's favorite song. How appropriate for present time.  
  
Would you hold my hand, If I saw you in heaven? Would you help me stand, If I saw you in heaven?  
  
James and Lily Potter.two of the most wonderful people that ever graced the world.muggle and magic. They knew they were in danger. They knew Voldermort was tracking them. Why didn't they leave England? Why did they stay? And why didn't he think of protecting them? Some friend he turned out to be.  
  
Sirius felt a tear slip down his cheek which was quickly followed by another. Another Dementor stopped outside his cell and Sirius felt an icy air being pumped into the small room. He thought about just handing himself over to that thing at his door, letting it suck all the joy out of him. But then he thought of the Potters. What would James say to him right now?  
  
"Pull yourself together Padfoot! You know you had nothing to do with what happened to us! Now, make sure you keep yourself sane in this place so when you do get out, you can take care of my son!"  
  
Sirius smiled slightly. "Thanks James."  
  
The Dementor at the door hissed and the air grew colder. Sirius glared at the cell door and started singing at the top of his lungs again.  
  
Beyond the door There's peace I'm sure. Cause I know there'll be no more Tears in heaven. 


	2. Lonely Moon

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this fic and I'm not making money. Hope you enjoy for that's the purpose!  
  
Aftermath  
  
Remus Lupin: The Lonely Moon  
  
He shut the door and shoved the dealbolts into place, all eight of them. Concrete surrounded him: four walls, floor and ceiling. It was the safest place for him really. The cellar of the old cottage out in the English countryside was the perfect holding pen for the werewolf that Remus Lupin turned into every full moon. Pulling the steaks out of the celephane wrappers, he dropped them on the floor, the raw meat making a sickening slap. He had stopped cooking them years ago as the wolf inside preferred the taste of raw, bloody meat. It only semi-satisfied him.  
  
Shedding his ragged robe, he dropped it on the floor as a makeshift bed in case the wolf wanted sleep. But that was never the case. He would pace back and forth, clawing at the doors, barking at the walls and anything else that separated him from the fresh meat that was walking around only miles away. There were times when he was tempted to "forget" locking the doors and letting himself go on a rampage. He missed those nights.not the rampaging, but the freedom that his friends had given him.  
  
James, Sirius and Peter became animangi in order to keep him company when he transformed. It was the single most touching course of action anyone had taken in their lives for him. Other than Dumbledore letting him come to Hogwarts, that is. But his friends, Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail (James, Sirius and Peter respectively) all kept him company when he was at his worst and made it a not so terrible experience.  
  
But there was no one now.  
  
James was dead. So was Peter. And who was it that killed them? Sirius. Sirius Black, how could one get away with being a good guy with a name like "Black?" Shouldn't they have seen that one coming? But they didn't, and Remus was left alone again to face the creature that he was. He felt like crying, so he did. Locked in a basement, no one would know. The crying gave way to weeping, and the weeping to sobbing.  
  
It was the only emotional outlet that Remus, the man, had. He lived alone, and no one bothered to come see him. His friends were gone and everyone else he had known, parents included, were too afraid of him. He wrapped his arms around his skeletal frame, wishing it was someone, anyone, that had come to comfort him. That was all he had for comfort though...dreams and illusions.  
  
The dropping sensation came to his stomach and he felt the pangs of transformation go through his muscles. His hands clawed at the ground in a last ditch effort to stop the transformation, but the dirt under his fingernails faded away as the hand became a paw. He let out a scream filled with pain and anger at the process. But the sound faded and was soon replaced by silence.  
  
The wolf shook the dust off it's fur and whined. It paced around the small square room, looking for an out. The light from the full moon fill the basement with illumination. The wolf passed by the fresh meat, sniffed it, and kept pacing. Finally, it stopped, sat down in front of the window that framed the moon and howled, just like every full moon since the Potter's death. 


	3. Insensitive

Aftermath: Insensitive  
  
Rain came down in torrents; mercilessly beating on the panes of glass in the darkened house. He didn't want to turn on a light, not that he didn't like light, contrary to what everyone believed, but due to the fact that he lacked the strength to get up, walk across the room and turn on the lamp.  
  
The news had come that morning. Voldermort had struck the night before. James and Lily Potter were dead. Harry was taken...someplace, he didn't know where. The boy's godfather had been captured earlier that morning for killing a baker's dozen of Muggles, as well as Peter Pettigrew.  
  
Why did James choose Black as the godfather? Didn't he see Black for what he was? Just look at the man's name and you could see he was a good-for- nothing riff-raff. If the choice had been his, given the three friends that James surrounded himself with, he would have chosen the werewolf over Black.  
  
But there was nothing to be done now. They were dead and nothing was going to bring them back. These feelings of remorse seemed almost foreign to him. He was used to feeling, but mostly it was anger, resentment and the ever encompassing feeling of "why me." Perhaps the latter was self-pity, but he didn't really care.  
  
He rubbed the inside of his left arm. That was where they were going to put it, the Dark Mark, or so Lucius had told him. Nearly everyone he had associated with in school had received the Dark Mark by now, but something held him back. He knew they were all siding with the wrong team. Voldermort couldn't stand a chance against Albus Dumbledore, he honestly believed that. Perhaps...  
  
He really never hated James Potter, and certainly not Lily. He still owed James for that time in the Shrieking Shack. Well, he didn't owe James anything now. Sitting up in the leather chair he was reclining in, a new thought came to him. James was dead, was his son wasn't. In the proper manner of things, the debt went from father to son. Well, the child was only one year old right now, perhaps when he goes to Hogwarts he might be around to pay off the debt. But there was something else he could do in the meantime.  
  
The whole wizarding world knew that it was Voldermort who killed the Potters. Perhaps he could become a Death Eater. He could find out who the other followers were, where they were located. If he was successful in that, then the life debt to the only remaining Potter would be vanquished. Maybe then Severus Snape would finally feel free of the Potter's shadow he could never manage to outshine. 


End file.
